Alone
by Princess Deirdre
Summary: Xena thinking about things going on in her life. A slight Shipper vibe:)(I suck at the summary)This story is Complete.


**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Please don't sue me**

**A/N: This is my first story. Keep that in mind when you review (please review. I wanna know if it sucks) This was supposed to be a full-fledged Shipper story but I don't know what happened.I couldn't find the transition. Yes imma Shipper (we rock so hard:) Also, this has its own timeline I suppose but in terms of X/A relationship development, its somewhere between You Are There and Path of Vengeance). . **

_Sitting here, staring into the fire, I realize that I have never felt more alone in my entire life. Sure, I've been on my own since I as seventeen, but now it's different. Back then I **wanted** to be alone. I **wanted** to be independent. _

_Now, that that is no longer the case, I crave for company other than my own thoughts. Left to their own devices, I'd be mad before sunrise, for sure._

_Gods I miss Gabrielle!_

_I wonder how she's getting along. Does she miss me as much as I do her? It's been almost a month since we parted. And I everyday I've woken up, stretched, looked around, and thought to myself 'this is a first, Gabby's up before me?!' then remembered Gabby's gone,. I don't think I'll ever get use to her not being around._

Flashback 

Oh yeah! This is the stuff. As always, Gabrielle and I wake to a bunch of bandits, wanting to make a name for themselves by offing the Warrior Princess and the Battleling Bard. Twenty-five years in an ice cave and it's amazing how things stay the same.

Wielding my sword, blood pumping fast through my veins, adrenaline aiding the process, I make quick use of the thugs who attack me, all the while with a feral grin on my face. Parry, parry, backhand, duck, thrust_, Bye-bye, Next Please_. I get my wish and the dance continues.

Gabrielle, with Sais drawn, blunt end forward of course, waltzing as well. Deflect, deflect, dodge, kick, knockout, Sleep tight. She on the other hand, does not relish the fight.Another one attacks. This one is bigger than the last and is determined on using his size to his advantage. Lumbering toward the blonde, he thinks she's easy pickings. With a flick of the wrist, Gabrielle's weapons are made all the more deadlier, and the guy had it coming. The ballet starts, choreography perfect and rehearsed, until the big primate messes up the steps and ends up on the point of her blades.

Gabrielle is no me. She can't just kill and move on. No, she is transfixed by the horror of her actions. Time is has stopped and her senses are heightened. She sees with perfect clarity the anguish and pain in the man's eyes. She feels the warm stickiness as his blood flows freely over her shaking hand. She smells the stench of Death, oddly enough, like wild flowers as Celeste comes to collect her bounty. She tastes the remnants of lasts nights supper trying to force is way up her throat. Finally, she hears the thumping of her heart pounding her ribcage, as all else is silent.

"Gabrielle!!" I yell punching the last of the men in the face, lnocking him unconscious.

It's my voice that brings her out of her abstraction. She lifts her leg, which suddenly weighs a thousand tons, up to the man's midsection and pushes her weapon free of its resting place.

The thugs are gone, realized they bit of more than they could chew and I'm at my friends side.

"Gabrielle are you all right?" I ask asked warily, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder.

The bard looks up into my eyes and I notice that she has aged more years in those few minutes than all the time we'd spent in those ice coffins.

The bards voice cracked as she responded with tears forming her tired, green eyes.

"No and I haven't been for a long while," she manages before walking off.

End of Flashback 

And so it was. Plain and simple. She just got tired of the killing. It took a toll on her soul and snuffed out the light that once shined so brightly in her face.

_I didn't notice it dimming either. This was so surprising because at one point during our travels, I was on constant support from it. I needed it to remind me of why I choose the path I did, being that it was so hard to travel. The glares, the hate, and the cruel words that echoed though my head most evenings crippled me. Then I looked to the goodness that beamed through those young eyes, and I knew I could continue on the next morning. I didn't realize that she was absorbing my darkness..._

_Why didn't I notice? What was happening that I became blind to the death of my best friends soul? Oh, right...Eve_

_My sweet Eve, Evee, my baby. I was so preoccupied with being pregnant, all the while running from the Gods, giving birth, still running from the Gods, trying to raise her, more running, taking a looong nap (ahh... rest for my aching feet), and finally waking up to resume my running. That's when I lost her._

_Or maybe a little bit before that. When she strayed from Eli's path to protect me after Callisto broke my spine in two with my own Chakrum. (Crazy bitch broke that in two also...)_

_Whenever it happened, I didn't see it, that's the point. Now she's gone, along with all the chattering I've become so accustomed to hearing, leaving me lonely. I think now I would even be grateful for good ole Joxer and a grand rendition of Joxer, The Mighty...._

_On second thought, maybe not._

Just then, familiar pink sparks gave way to form before my eyes, announcing the arrival of the one and only Goddess of Love.

Aphrodite! I have never been so happy to see the scantily clad woman in all my life. And, damn, I think my eyes just betrayed me. Maybe she didn't notice...

"Hey warrior babe, how's it hanging?" She said through a brilliant smile.

I'll give her a half smile, no teeth, in an effort to maintain my trademark cool exterior.

"Fine. Thanks. What brings you to my neck of the woods? Something wrong?" I voice with a hint of concern.

"Oh no. You can chill. Nothings wrong. Just flipping through the ole air portal and saw my fav' warrior chick all by her lonesome and thought I'd stop by and say 'Whats up?' She concluded, making her way around the fire to sit next to me.

"Ah well nothings up, but I do appreciate the sentiment," I say, eyeing the Goddess curiously. It's not everyday a deity stops by for chitchat. For me, it's just every other day.

"So how are things going on Olympus?" She asked but then regretted it almost immediately, noticing the Goddess flinch a little. That was still a sore subject for her.

Nonetheless, Dite put on a brave face and answered the question.

"It still totally needs like major reconstruction. Maybe one day we'll get around to it. Ar and me try to avoid the place as much as possible. To many bad memories, ya know" A wave of sadness consuming the tone of her voice.

An uncomfortable silence fell between them. Then I finally speak up trying to change the subject.

"Um so how is...ah...he...doing?" I ask trying to sound nonchalant about it.

"Honestly, warrior babe, not so well. He's sad most of the time. We hang a lot more, us being a rare breed and all. I try to cheer him up but it rarely works" Sorrow still in the crevices of her voice.

"I thought he'd be doing back flips now that he's got his powers back" I reply squarely.

"Me too. I guess he like got use to doing things the mortal way. Now everything is just too easy for him. Dealing with that and a broken heart must be tough." Aphrodite said thoughtfully.

Broken heart, yeah right! I think with a smirk. 

"I'm sure he'll get over it once he gets back into the sort of things " I say, humor still evident in my manner.

"Still don't believe he loves you, huh? Even after all he's done?" Aphrodite shook her head, looking disbelievingly in my eyes.

Aphrodite crossed into dangerous territory with that remark.

"Exactly!,' I glare at the Goddess, anger apparent in my voice, 'after all that he's _**done**. _You mean driving me insane, framing me for murder, pretending to be my father only to torment me, hitting on--"

"I mean,' 'Dite interrupted, 'him giving up his immortality for you. You said yourself once that there was no greater sacrifice for the God of War." That shut me up.

"We've all done things were not proud of in our past, Xena. You of all people should know that. Why don't you leave the past were it belongs and move to" She said softly. "You never know, you might find happiness with him, if you give him a chance...,"she trailed off.

Then she continued, "Besides, all his moping around is like seriously bringing me down."

I smiled in spite of myself.

She arose in preparation to leave then added; "Oh and Sweet Pea is doing really well" she grinned was gone in her flash of pink sparkles.

That simple statement brought tears to my eyes. _Gabby's okay_

A while later, I walk over to my bedroll and carefully lay back. I stare at the starless sky, and a carefully buried memory resurfaces.

It's me standing on the hill, overlooking the ruins of the Amazon lands, after Ares had regained his sanity. Holding his hands and gazing into his soft brown eyes that promised me so much.

Aphrodite's words come back: "You should leave that past where it belongs; you might find happiness with him"

I sigh. Maybe I could talk to him. At least to try to bury the hatchet, if not "find my happiness". I stand up, clear my throat and prepare myself.

"Ares" I call softly to thin air, but I know he'll hear me.


End file.
